Just Missed the Call
by Sarah1281
Summary: Mere hours before Rachel meets Elfangor, she invites Melissa to go with her and Cassie to the mall.


Just Missed the Call

Disclaimer: I do not own Animorphs.

No self-respecting middle school student would ever admit to not looking forward to the weekend, but I wasn't and I hadn't been for awhile now. See, it's not like I am so fond of school that I want to spend more time there, it's just that if I'm not at school, that means that I'm going to have to go home and home right now is not a place I really want to be. It's not like my mom and dad are abusive or anything, they rarely ever so much as raised their voice to me.

You know that old song "A House Is Not A Home" by Dionne Warwick? That's what I've been feeling like lately, except with my parents and not a boyfriend or something. They've both always been busy but they made it a point to make time for me and lately that's just not been the case. They act the same as they always have, but that's the key word: act. It's as if all of their 'I love yous' and 'Be carefuls' have lost all of their meaning.

It happened so gradually that I don't even know when it started but one day I just woke up and realized that my parents didn't love me anymore. I tried to deny it of course but though my parents said that they did, they proved otherwise with their every word and action. There are some people whose parents have never loved them and even though they blamed themselves, it clearly wasn't their fault because how can a baby have done something to make their own parents not love them? No, the problem was clearly the mom or dad's. For me, though, it's different. Up until a few months ago, my parents loved me dearly and I'm thirteen so there's plenty I could have done. I just…I just don't know _why_ they don't love me and what I could have possibly done to make this happen.

Obviously, since my house is no longer a home I don't ever really want to spend time there. Strangely, I haven't been feeling much like spending time with my friends, though, and I don't quite know why. Maybe I'm afraid that since my parents, the people who are always supposed to love me no matter what I do, could just stop caring that there is something horribly wrong with me and if I spend too much time with other people then they'll see it, too. Since I can't stand to be at home and I'm generally not up for spending time with other people, I've taken to spending hours just walking around outside. Thank goodness I live in California and not a place where it might get too cold to spend much time outside.

"Hi, Melissa," Rachel Berenson greeted me cheerfully as she set her lunch tray next to mine on the table. Rachel's always been one of my closest friends but I've been so awkward around her since I realized the truth about my parents. Her parents got divorced awhile back, you see, and so they (particularly her father who moved out) have been doing that typical divorced parent routine where they smother her in affection so that she never doubts their love for her and, sick as it is, I've been getting increasingly jealous. I mean, really. Who gets jealous of divorced parents? I bet that if my parents got divorced, their custody battle would be over who _had_ to take me instead of who _got to_. It doesn't help that she's barely seemed to notice that anything was wrong.

"Hey, Rachel," I replied, trying to force a smile.

Rachel's pretty good at reading people so she wasn't fooled. She cocked her head to the side. "You okay?"

"Of course I'm okay," I lied. How could I possibly explain to her what was going on, anyway? She'd be horrified, I knew, but also maybe look at me differently.

"Are you sure?" Rachel pressed. "You just seem a little down."

"I just got back my pre-algebra test," I told her with a sigh. It was true, actually, though I really hadn't done too badly on it.

Rachel wrinkled her nose. "Ugh. I hate pre-algebra. I just know that someone invented it just so they could torture teenagers with it."

Despite myself, I managed a small smile. "Yes, I bet that's _exactly_ it, Rachel."

"Well, that's certainly why they teach it," Rachel declared dramatically. "Listen, are you doing anything tonight?"

Reluctantly, I shook my head. It's never fun admitting that you have no life. "No, why?"

"Well, Cassie and I are headed to the mall. There are some _major_ sales going on and I might even be able to convince her to get something," Rachel answered. "Do you want to come? There's no _way_ that Cassie can withstand two against one."

She looked so hopeful that I almost said yes. Rachel and I were drifting apart and while she wasn't doing all that much to try to figure out why, she was at least making some effort to keep things the same and I didn't want to hurt her. I shook my head instead. "I'm sorry."

Rachel's face fell. I guess she'd really been looking to go with me.

"It's just that…I'm really tired," I said lamely. I wish I hadn't already told her that I had other plans because who could be upset that I had arranged to do something more than a few hours in advance? "I was up all night studying for that geography test…which means that I probably won't want to see _that_ grade, either."

"Are you sure you can't come?" Rachel asked wistfully. "It could be a lot of fun and it's been awhile since I've gone with somebody who understands the purpose of accessorizing. I mean, you _know_ that I love Cassie but the girl is quite possibly completely hopeless on that front."

"Maybe next time," I told her, knowing full well that next time she asked I'd turn her down again and wondering how long it would take for her to stop asking. I should probably care more that our friendship was slowly deteriorating but it was just so hard to care about anything these days.

"Yeah, maybe next weekend," Rachel agreed. I wonder if she really believed that. "It's not like tonight will be a one-of-kind experience or anything."

As we made awkward small-talk for the rest of the period, I almost wished I was back home.

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